The unlucky 5%

Well first of all the odds of me, a young woman, never smoked, never drank, never did drugs, never worked near radiation leaves me with a 1 in 100,000 chance of getting Leukemia. The odds of me getting heart damage was low, kidney damage was low, and an infected gall bladder is low. If a medication has a side effect, I'll get it. Be it riggors, nausea, nuropathy, a itchy rash, you name it, I'll get it! So I guess I shouldn't be surprised when the doctors came in with my bone marrow biopsy results and told me that I am in that 5% group who rejects transplant. They think that when they infused me with the donor cells that some how there were a few white cells of mine that went to war with the donor cells. In the end it looks like all my cells were killed off, but also enough donor cells were killed that there weren't enough to graft. The plan is to give me some more chemo over the next 2-3 days and on Monday reinfuse me with more donor cells. (I am so blessed that she sent extra!) The hardest part of all this is that Im going to miss so much more. I have already missed Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, My anniversery, Marcs graduation from pharmacy school, mothers day, my birthday,and now Braydens birthday party. We had pushed it back to this Saturday hoping I would be out. Then the 4th of July. As long as everything goes well I should get to be home for the fall/winter holidays and I've alreay told Marc that unless they have a tracking device on me I am sneaking up for the boys first day of school. I will not miss that!