Day 3

Well, wouldn't you know it. Apparently obliterating your bone marrow makes you feel like crap! My white cell count is almost at zero now. I am on day 3 of transplant and the nurses say that my counts should start to come up around day 14. So it should get worse before it gets better :( I bascally feel like I have the flu. Thankfully they are generouse with medications to help me get through this! Really the hardest part of it all is how much I miss my boys. They are not allowed to come see me right now because of the risk of infection. It feels like my heart is breaking to be away from them for so long. The last time that they visited Conner put his arms around me and said "mom, your not going to give up, right?" I promised him that I would never give up. I don't know where a 5 year old would get that idea, but it made me sad to think he was worried about that. No child should have to learn about death so young. I hope that this somehow makes them stronger instead of hurting them. They are strong little boys. I am very grateful for everyone who has been showering them with love and fun during this hard time! Thank you for loving my children!