Perspective

I want everyone to think about something. Think about your typical day. You get up and hug and kiss your kids. Maybe go for a run, finish a project you were working on. Maybe you go to lunch with some friends. Take your kids to the park, or just have a movie night in. Imagine that all that is suddenly taken away from you. You can no longer wrap your arms around you kids, kiss them on the forehead or even see them at all. You cant go shopping, work in your garden, go on a date with your spouse, or even cook dinner for your family. I used to think my life was somewhat borring and predictable. Sure, I was happy. But sometimes the days got long, the kids fought too much, or I was just sick of figuring out what to cook for dinner. My perspective has changed now. I would do anything to get back my borring life! Im sorry to say it took a trial of this magnitude to change my perspective. So please, don't learn the hard way like me. Put down your phones, turn off the TV. Spend time with your family and show them that they are the most important thing in your life. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Don't waste today.

It's now day 8! My doctors are impressed with how well I am doing.I don't have any serious complications, I'm just really tired. I sleep about 16 hrs a day. The frustrating thing is that sleeping doesn't give me any energy!! My biggest frustration is that they won't let me see my boys until I am released. Every day Brayden asks when I'm coming home. We don't really have an answer for him. The doctors excpect my new bone marrow to start producing around day 14. But of course, everyone is different.

Day 3

Well, wouldn't you know it. Apparently obliterating your bone marrow makes you feel like crap! My white cell count is almost at zero now. I am on day 3 of transplant and the nurses say that my counts should start to come up around day 14. So it should get worse before it gets better :( I bascally feel like I have the flu. Thankfully they are generouse with medications to help me get through this! Really the hardest part of it all is how much I miss my boys. They are not allowed to come see me right now because of the risk of infection. It feels like my heart is breaking to be away from them for so long. The last time that they visited Conner put his arms around me and said "mom, your not going to give up, right?" I promised him that I would never give up. I don't know where a 5 year old would get that idea, but it made me sad to think he was worried about that. No child should have to learn about death so young. I hope that this somehow makes them stronger instead of hurting them. They are strong little boys. I am very grateful for everyone who has been showering them with love and fun during this hard time! Thank you for loving my children!

Letters To Janette From Pam

Dear Janette,

I just want to tell you how inspirational you are to me. You have such a good attitude and your going to come through all of these trials even stronger than before. I'm praying for you and that says alot when I'm praying. 

Love you, 

Pam Crosbie

Letters To Janette From The Berchtolds

Dear Janette, 

I wanted to write you a love letter from the Berchtolds!! We are sending you all our love and support. We wish we could be there to help you out, to visit with you, and to have Conner and Brayden come over and play. But we just live to darn far away. I treasure the time that I had to get to know my sister-in-law better. I have not lived near family for a very long time so when you started dating Marc, you were just a name and a picture to me. I was very much hoping that you would wait for him while he went on his mission, because from what I heard, he was head over heels in love with you. You are his dream come true! I wasn't able to be there at your wedding (which I was very bummed about) but I was so happy for the both of you. When I heard that there was a chance that you and Marc would be moving to Alabama, I was so hopeful. Then when Marc called me and told me, I started crying, right in the middle of a store. I was so excited to have family close by. I loved our weekly Sunday dinners. You are a fabulous cook!! My favorite standouts were your Mexican Lasagne and your Chicken Pot Pie. Oh, and your desserts were divine! I loved taking our boys to the Library for gymnastics and to the McWane center to let them run!! Easter Egg Hunts! Trunk-or-Treats! We did it all and I am so grateful for that time. Who knows where our family will end up now, but you are always welcome to visit and crash at our house. I am excited to be coming out in the summer. Then we will get to see you guys again! We all pray for you every day. We pray for your comfort and a feeling of peace. And of course for healing! You are so strong and such an inspiration to all of us. This time will fly by and soon just be a memory. You are doing such a great job of doing exactly what you need to do to get better. We love you with all our hearts. We will see you soon. 

Love, 

Tom, Julie, Miranda, Jentry, Tate and Riley!!

Letter To Janette From Brandie

I just got home from spending my night with you and Marc. I decided it's the perfect time to write my letter to you. Tonight was so fun and emotional. I LOVE talking to you about things and how you can give me this whole new look at things I've thought I considered in every way. I will not forget what you said about you being grateful for the Word Of Wisdom because with out you following that you may not have lived through all of this. I thought that was so powerful.

I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. Watching you Skype the boys tonight was probably one of the hardest things I've ever seen. I hate seeing your heart break. I know how badly you want to be holding them and just be with them. I love the stars in their eyes just simply hearing your voice Janette. You are a amazing mom. Doing what you need to do for your children right now. Doing what you need to do for Marc too cause I don't know what he'd do with out you. You just amaze me. Your strength and positivity is so inspiring. You always have and still do motivate me to be better.

I am going to love our Mondays together and am here for anything you need! Sending lots of prayers and love your way.

Sincerely,

Brandie Page

Mothers Day

I got to see my boys on mothers day! They even picked out special presents for me. Conner got me a necklace and earrings, Brayden got me a big duck to hug when I am lonely :) I asked him what the ducks name was and he said " elephant!"
My parents took turns staying with me this weekend. They were so good to me! My mom gave me a facial and a foot massage, and my dad helped me scrapbook and read to me while I fell asleep!
I am almost ready for my transplant. Yesterday, today and tomorrow I am receiving a drug called ATG. It is supposed to help my body accept my new bone marrow. Because it is made from pigs there is a big chance of allergic reactions to it. To avoid those they first give you 100mg of Benadryl. Now a regular dose is 25mg. They also give the 100mg through IV so the effect is immediate! As they were pushing it in my eyes started to cross, then my head began bobbing. I tried to speak but was unable to form words. Then I gave up and slept for the next 4hrs! Today they are also giving me the chemo that obliterates my bone marrow. The thought of it is truly freaking me out! Too late to turn back now though, so here we go!

Letter To Janette From YMCA nursery

Hi Janette,

Just a note to let you know the YMCA nursery staff misses you!!! We think of you often and have kept up with your progress in treatments through your friends. We miss Conner and Braden too! You have been blessed with sweet children who obviously love their mother very much! I miss seeing their faces light up when you finished your exercise. Please know that we have been praying...We are asking God, The Great Physician, to touch your body with His great healing power. We pray, too, that His all sufficient grace will cover your family in your absence. He loves you Janette. Your body was fearfully and wonderfully made by God. He is more than capable of healing you and giving you peace that passes all understanding during this hospital visit. May His presence comfort and sustain you...We love you!

Linda, Beth, and the whole gang!

Letters To Janette From Emme Packer

Dear Janette-

Kiersten contacted me personally and asked if I could write you. It's a little intimidating because we don't know each other well, but on the other hand, I feel like you could be a close friend of mine. My husband and I spent this last sunday fasting and praying for you. We've prayed for you almost nightly since I heard your story. And I think about you often. Not that I need a medal or anything for doing some good deeds, but I bring it up because I feel that it's times like these really bring the world together in such a beautiful way. In a sense the world is stopping for YOU You are the focus and attention and source of love for SO many people right now. You are a strength and an inspiration simply because you are choosing to fight, because you are a beautiful daughter of God, and because you are a good person. (The list could go on and on.) I relate to you because we are the same age. I don't have children yet, but I think about my husband and how much I would fight to stay alive for him. And that intense thought and feeling brings me closer to you and your amazing story. Go into your surgery with peace and happiness and belief that you will be alright. Your pain and suffering is a small moment and this will be something of the past one day. You're going to be just fine. We love you and care for you, Janette. Be strong!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Birthday to me! Ok, my birthday really isn't until Friday, but I go into the hospital tomorrow to begin my bone marrow transplant. So my family and I went up to our cabin home and had a cookout. We let the kids dig for bugs and play in the creek, and ate german chocolate cake. It was perfect! I have to say that I used to dread getting older, but I am really happy to say I made it to 28!  I feel like every day that I am given is a blessing and a miracle.
May is going to be a very busy month for me in the future. Not only is it my birthday and mothers day (sometimes they fall on the same day, that is pretty annoying!) But they say that the day they implant my new bone marrow they call it my second birthday. Apparently the nurses will even sing to me :) So now I get to have 2 birthdays in May! Sorry Marc, that doesn't mean I age in increments of 2 years at a time, I will always be younger than you ;)

Please pray for me as I begin the transplant process tomorrow!

Message From Brandie

My name is Brandie Page. I wanted to write a little something about the fundraiser. I was asked numerous questions at the fundraiser and did not have time to answer them all. So I thought I would write about my experience and try to include all the questions I was asked. I met Marc and Janette when we all lived in Brittany Green Apartments in Brigham. Josh and I went on a double date with them and hit it right off. We hung out when we could. Marc and Janette were such a amazing couple that they really brought out the best in me and Josh and helped our relationship. Marc was so incredibly sweet and in love with Janette and Janette was so supportive and in love with Marc. I LOVED spending our time with them. It was ALWAYS FUN! .Janette and I have a interesting relationship we had some things in common. We both always dreamt of being moms, we both wanted to be the main caregiver for our kids, we both loved the TV show FRIENDS. But Janette and I tended to disagree or have different of opinions on quite a few subjects too. We would talk about it sometimes for hours share our opinions and I think we made each other think about the other side of things a lot. It was always respectful. I loved those conversations.

We always knew Marc and Janette would go far away for school and it just happened that we moved far from Brigham at about the same time. When Facebook came around I was relieved there was a way to keep up with them. When they said they would be coming back in December the first thing I said is come move down by me. I was looking forward to conference weekends with hot chocolate and sweats in the living room with them again. Well as we all know things don't ever go as planned.

In November I found out about Janette's leukemia just like everyone else on Facebook. I cried for about a day straight (it felt like it) and then I got to work. Honestly I've had a million things that I've seen or heard about that I've wanted to help. I'll try to think of things I could do and then I just never did. I would go to fundraisers, buy stuff and such but never have I tried to organize one. But my heart was just saying this is Janette and Marc and Conner and Brayden. For once in my life I didn't second guess myself. I just went with it. I set up the blog so people could get money to her on pay pal. Then just went into ideas on the fundraiser. I had Kiersten (Marc's Sister) and LeAnn (Janette's sister) jump right on board. Thank goodness they did. So we went to work. My goal was to raise Marc and Janette $5,000.00, I remember feeling like it's not much but it's realistic and every bit will help. I never could've guessed how Friday all came together.

We couldn't have done any of this without ALL of you that donated, volunteered, showed up and performed. We passed our GOAL. But the one who got the most from this I feel like was me. I wish everyone could've seen all the behind the scenes stuff that I did. Marc and Jan's family was absolutely incredible emailing me frequently asking what I need. Friends of Marc and Jan donating thousands of dollars in stuff to auction off and volunteering to help with any thing we need. But even more amazing ALL the people that didn't even know them that showed up, performed and donated. Like the girls that danced to "God Gave Me You" practiced every day like 6 hours for the whole week before making up that dance specifically for them. They have never met them. I have met some of the most amazing and generous and loving people. I got to see exactly the kind of people that I want and am honored to be surrounded by. I felt like apart of something so much BIGGER than me. I watched my 7 year old daughter Makenzie tell any one and everyone about the fundraiser. This has really impacted her.

More than anything else I've been in awe watching Marc and Janette handle this. Starting with Marc he is so concerned, sweet, loving and worried about Janette. But he looks at her like every girl wants a man to look at her. You know nothing in this world is more important than her. It really is wonderful. Janette couldn't have a better partner to go through this with.

Janette, you are the strongest person I've ever met. I've never seen someone be so calm. You are graceful, beautiful, patient and kind going through every thing that you are. The thing that gets me most is how positive you are. You are so inspirational. I can't wait for you to be fully recovered and you and I to pay it forward together.

Seeing how grateful Marc and Janette are is wonderful for me. They had no expectations and I think if I made a thousand dollars it wouldn't have mattered. They would've loved me just the same. I worried about disappointing them the whole time but they are such amazing people I knew I was really worried about disappointing myself because they wouldn't be disappointed they were grateful regardless.

For all of you thinking the way that I did "I wanna help I just don't know what to do" just do it. The rewards are worth it and it may turn into something WONDERFUL!


To all of you that helped in ANY WAY thank you so much. I LOVE YOU ALL!! To Kiersten and LeAnn you amaze me. Hanging out with you girls was easy. To The Andersen's and The Baron's thank you for making me feel like apart of your family. To Marc and Janette I love you both!

Hardest Thing

I have been putting something off for a while now, and I finally did it. After crying half my body weight in tears I finally wrote letters to Marc, Conner and Brayden should the worst happen. I've been putting it off because really, what can you ever write that will be good enough? How can you ever really tell someone that you love them more than life itself? That just seeing their smile in the morning makes the day worth waking up for? That the oppurtunity to spend every day for the rest of my life just loving them, and watching them grow is all I've ever wanted? That all the chemo, worry, and pain is worth it even if it means just one more day with them. I know they will never understand, but I felt that it was important that they hear how I felt about them in my own words, inadequate as they might be. So I have tucked the letters away in hopes that they will never be read.
I've told Marc that I have so many people praying for me that really, how can I not make it? The faith of that many people could move mountains! Surely it can also cure me of leukemia! Especailly when my five year old says his nightly prayer "please make mommies cancer go away". I know that God still performs miracles and I am hoping for one in my life!