Panic Attack

I am the only person who has mistaken a panic attack for a pulmonary embolism and ruined her sisters birthday? I think so!!!! Let me explain....  So I have a large blood clot in my sub clavian vein (right by my heart) so the doctor has put me on a high dose of blood thinners. On Saturday I went to the movie with my two sisters and mom to celebrate my sisters birthday. During the movie I suddenly felt like my body was on fire and I was having a hard time breathing. I hurry and stood up and signaled for my mom to follow me out. When we got out side my symptoms began to subside but my mom said I was white as a ghost and clammy. I called the on call oncologist and after hearing my symptoms and looking at my chart he said that he thinks it was just a panic attack and that looking at everything I'm going through he's not surprised! He then told me to take an adivan and go to bed! The experience really scared me. I have to say that while sitting in that theater I really thought I was going to die. The first thought that I had was "I can't die in a movie theater! I want to be home with my family!!"  I am SO glad that it was just a panic attack. I liked to think that after months of facing the possibility of death that I have come to accept it. But after that experience I realized that not only have I not accepted it, but I don't know if I ever can. I just can't image a future that doesn't involve me raising my kids and growing old with my sweetheart. Life really is precious and I pray every night that God will bless me with the opportunity to raise my family, and hopefully help others in my situation.
-and again LeAnn, I'm sorry I ruined your birthday!