Perspective

I want everyone to think about something. Think about your typical day. You get up and hug and kiss your kids. Maybe go for a run, finish a project you were working on. Maybe you go to lunch with some friends. Take your kids to the park, or just have a movie night in. Imagine that all that is suddenly taken away from you. You can no longer wrap your arms around you kids, kiss them on the forehead or even see them at all. You cant go shopping, work in your garden, go on a date with your spouse, or even cook dinner for your family. I used to think my life was somewhat borring and predictable. Sure, I was happy. But sometimes the days got long, the kids fought too much, or I was just sick of figuring out what to cook for dinner. My perspective has changed now. I would do anything to get back my borring life! Im sorry to say it took a trial of this magnitude to change my perspective. So please, don't learn the hard way like me. Put down your phones, turn off the TV. Spend time with your family and show them that they are the most important thing in your life. We never know what tomorrow will bring. Don't waste today.

It's now day 8! My doctors are impressed with how well I am doing.I don't have any serious complications, I'm just really tired. I sleep about 16 hrs a day. The frustrating thing is that sleeping doesn't give me any energy!! My biggest frustration is that they won't let me see my boys until I am released. Every day Brayden asks when I'm coming home. We don't really have an answer for him. The doctors excpect my new bone marrow to start producing around day 14. But of course, everyone is different.

Day 3

Well, wouldn't you know it. Apparently obliterating your bone marrow makes you feel like crap! My white cell count is almost at zero now. I am on day 3 of transplant and the nurses say that my counts should start to come up around day 14. So it should get worse before it gets better :( I bascally feel like I have the flu. Thankfully they are generouse with medications to help me get through this! Really the hardest part of it all is how much I miss my boys. They are not allowed to come see me right now because of the risk of infection. It feels like my heart is breaking to be away from them for so long. The last time that they visited Conner put his arms around me and said "mom, your not going to give up, right?" I promised him that I would never give up. I don't know where a 5 year old would get that idea, but it made me sad to think he was worried about that. No child should have to learn about death so young. I hope that this somehow makes them stronger instead of hurting them. They are strong little boys. I am very grateful for everyone who has been showering them with love and fun during this hard time! Thank you for loving my children!

Letters To Janette From Pam

Dear Janette,

I just want to tell you how inspirational you are to me. You have such a good attitude and your going to come through all of these trials even stronger than before. I'm praying for you and that says alot when I'm praying. 

Love you, 

Pam Crosbie

Letters To Janette From The Berchtolds

Dear Janette, 

I wanted to write you a love letter from the Berchtolds!! We are sending you all our love and support. We wish we could be there to help you out, to visit with you, and to have Conner and Brayden come over and play. But we just live to darn far away. I treasure the time that I had to get to know my sister-in-law better. I have not lived near family for a very long time so when you started dating Marc, you were just a name and a picture to me. I was very much hoping that you would wait for him while he went on his mission, because from what I heard, he was head over heels in love with you. You are his dream come true! I wasn't able to be there at your wedding (which I was very bummed about) but I was so happy for the both of you. When I heard that there was a chance that you and Marc would be moving to Alabama, I was so hopeful. Then when Marc called me and told me, I started crying, right in the middle of a store. I was so excited to have family close by. I loved our weekly Sunday dinners. You are a fabulous cook!! My favorite standouts were your Mexican Lasagne and your Chicken Pot Pie. Oh, and your desserts were divine! I loved taking our boys to the Library for gymnastics and to the McWane center to let them run!! Easter Egg Hunts! Trunk-or-Treats! We did it all and I am so grateful for that time. Who knows where our family will end up now, but you are always welcome to visit and crash at our house. I am excited to be coming out in the summer. Then we will get to see you guys again! We all pray for you every day. We pray for your comfort and a feeling of peace. And of course for healing! You are so strong and such an inspiration to all of us. This time will fly by and soon just be a memory. You are doing such a great job of doing exactly what you need to do to get better. We love you with all our hearts. We will see you soon. 

Love, 

Tom, Julie, Miranda, Jentry, Tate and Riley!!

Letter To Janette From Brandie

I just got home from spending my night with you and Marc. I decided it's the perfect time to write my letter to you. Tonight was so fun and emotional. I LOVE talking to you about things and how you can give me this whole new look at things I've thought I considered in every way. I will not forget what you said about you being grateful for the Word Of Wisdom because with out you following that you may not have lived through all of this. I thought that was so powerful.

I'm so sorry for everything you are going through. Watching you Skype the boys tonight was probably one of the hardest things I've ever seen. I hate seeing your heart break. I know how badly you want to be holding them and just be with them. I love the stars in their eyes just simply hearing your voice Janette. You are a amazing mom. Doing what you need to do for your children right now. Doing what you need to do for Marc too cause I don't know what he'd do with out you. You just amaze me. Your strength and positivity is so inspiring. You always have and still do motivate me to be better.

I am going to love our Mondays together and am here for anything you need! Sending lots of prayers and love your way.

Sincerely,

Brandie Page

Mothers Day

I got to see my boys on mothers day! They even picked out special presents for me. Conner got me a necklace and earrings, Brayden got me a big duck to hug when I am lonely :) I asked him what the ducks name was and he said " elephant!"
My parents took turns staying with me this weekend. They were so good to me! My mom gave me a facial and a foot massage, and my dad helped me scrapbook and read to me while I fell asleep!
I am almost ready for my transplant. Yesterday, today and tomorrow I am receiving a drug called ATG. It is supposed to help my body accept my new bone marrow. Because it is made from pigs there is a big chance of allergic reactions to it. To avoid those they first give you 100mg of Benadryl. Now a regular dose is 25mg. They also give the 100mg through IV so the effect is immediate! As they were pushing it in my eyes started to cross, then my head began bobbing. I tried to speak but was unable to form words. Then I gave up and slept for the next 4hrs! Today they are also giving me the chemo that obliterates my bone marrow. The thought of it is truly freaking me out! Too late to turn back now though, so here we go!